There’s a point in everyone’s life where you just sit with your head in your hands and wait. Whether it’s in the hospital waiting room, by the phone, or even on the toilet, you sit, and suddenly every memory that you have, every precious moment, just flashes through your head. The way your baby hand fit into his old, wrinkled one. The way you would beat him at poker (but really, it was only him letting you win). The way he helped you put your favorite red jacket on before you went to school. The way you cried in the car on the way back from the airport.
Now you cry the same way, even though you know you have to be strong for those who lean on you for support. And even as these flashbacks run through you head, you wonder how you could have ever taken any of it for granted.
“Please, please, please. If everything turns out okay, I promise I’ll make up for it any way you want.” Every selfish thought that you’ve ever even considered makes you feel guilty. How could you have ever lusted after those Jimmy Choos? Or wondered why you were the only one in your class without an iPhone?
Please. All other words seem to disappear from your vocabulary. And all you can do is wait.
There is nothing you can do. Please. It’ll be okay, won’t it? Because it doesn’t seem life could or will go on past this point of waiting–eternity, holding its breath in that moment of anticipation.