CHSN: The Last Goodbye

I miss him. I miss him so much. And I don’t even know why. I mean it was just a week and all, and I probably only met him on the second, even third day perhaps? But I still miss him. And he was cute.

We talked all the time, about nothing and everything. It was so easy to be around him – it was so easy to be around everyone, but there was something about him. We talked about school, life, and we talked about each other. I constantly asked myself, “What is going on? I leave on Saturday, do I really want this?”

I’ll never forget the way we departed. It was as if we were some strangers, some acquaintances, just politely saying goodbye, but it meant something more inside. He had received a phone call, one from his mom. That call that indicated that he was leaving me. Forever perhaps. He said bye, and I did the same, although I said it without looking at him, afraid that I would tear up. Afraid I would never see him again.

Goodbyes are always hard. Especially when I have to say goodbye to some of my closest friends who live in other states, even countries. There’s always that heartbreaking thought of never seeing them again, even though I so desperately want to. So desperately wanting to see his bright smile, hear his laugh, and talk about our problems. So desperately wanting to embrace him in the biggest hug, to make up for the one we never had. It’s not like we’re next-door-neighbors and I can just knock on his door to play a game of soccer. He lives 5 hours away. Sometimes I want to just call him up and ask “how’s life?” like he always asked me, or even chat him on Facebook. Too bad I have no way of contacting him.

Too bad. That’s all I’ve said to myself. I regret everything about our last goodbye. I haven’t talked to him since then. Maybe he’s forgotten about me. Maybe I’m just that girl that he met for one week. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks about me like I do about him. Sometimes I wonder if he wants to see me again. I know I do.

This post is part of a series of posts called Confessions of a High School Nerd.


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