Each sharp gasp of breath that you take in is what rattles through my throat. Each crinkle beside your eyes that forms when you squint in pain is another gash on the side of my heart.
Your pain magnifies in my mind, swallowing my brain until it’s rotting and churning through horrid cinematic images that I can’t even describe. It’s so painful I’m blinded; it squeezes out tears until they’re coming down in bucketfuls. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. My tears try to call out to you.
Sorrow. Regret. Shame. All these are dissolving in the depth of vicarious pain that bores a hole like acid through my stomach. It’s eating away at my heart, my internal organs–oh god, I see it dissolving me inside out; it’s taking my skin until I stand in front of you, fully exposed and honest, as a bare skeleton for an instant. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. My empty mouth tries to whisper this to you.
And now it’s burrowing into the marrow, it’s sucking the life right out of me. I’m crumbling. But even as I hope for relief in the pile of dust that I’ve become, I reform. And again. And again. I’m thrown through this process over and over again. I’m sorry. I try to say this to you each time but you can’t hear me. With each “I’m sorry” I try to take some of your load, but it’s too embedded for me to reach it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. The constantly-shifting me tries to say this, but you smile softly and say that you’ll be fine. Lies.
I’d rather be the one in pain then experience it like this.
So I was “commissioned” to design food labels for a school food stand. I don’t know if you’ve figured out by now but my style is relatively cutesy. I guess. Anyways, I designed all of these on iMac’s Sketchbook Copic … Continue reading →
Apologies for not posting in a while! Today I’m sadly sick, so here’s a nonsense take on a nursery rhyme I wrote in middle school. “LITTLE MISS MUFFET” Little Miss Muffet Sat on her tuffet Eating her crackers and cheese So … Continue reading →
“RAIN” alone. silence. the rain pattering down the drain. maybe someday someone will take my hand and lead me away from the window but for now i’ll just watch the drops slide down the screen and dream. -hils Website: https://owlonabraintree.wordpress.com … Continue reading →
The cashier looked up from her People magazine, her blood-red nail polish glinting in the dim lighting of the café. There he was again. She had been investigating for several weeks already, ever since she’d been hired for this job. … Continue reading →
Inspired by recent events “HI TO A STRANGER” chair squeaks. your fingers drum on your desk. so close but a stranger. the fact that you sat next to me gives me hope. head turns. i investigate from the corner of … Continue reading →
Picture this. You’re in a high school classroom. There’s the nerd who always raises his hand. There’s the jock who always leans his chair back onto the desk of the person sitting behind him. There’s the theater girl who is … Continue reading →
Inspired by personal feelings and Ron Pope’s music (here) “won’t you take my hand?/take my heart/promise to never stop dancing once we start” “Luminosity” You, with those beautiful eyes You set my world aglow. I am freefalling But I have … Continue reading →